It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize