I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize