He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
