i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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