I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
