Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
