i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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