I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
