btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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