Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
