He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
