You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
