I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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