fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
