I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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