ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
