I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
