I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
