thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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