Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
