just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
this beer tastes like vomit already
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
