I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
