He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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