Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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