Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
