what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
