i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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