My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
