im gay
i know
yea but for you.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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