just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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