Where did you get a picture of my penis
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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