is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
