And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
