Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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