I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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