Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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