why didn't you poke me back
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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