I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
