he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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