well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Also, beer. Big fan.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
