I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
