Do vagina's smell?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I need a burrito and a hug.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
