Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
