Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
