I smell stomach acid.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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