I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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