the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
