so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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