all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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