I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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