how can u be prego again
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize