you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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