he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
