Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
