Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize