drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
