i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize