i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize