Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
