bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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