Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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