Already got asked if we're dating
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
