I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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