I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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