I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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